The other day, I was at a party sitting with a friend. A lady approached us and told my friend how wonderful she looked and her outfit was really nice, she really liked it. She walked away, complementing my friend, my friend on the other hand leapt into a conclusion that the lady (whom she had never met or known) was being sarcastic and she really got offended by something which was a genuine compliment.
I wondered , at that point of time that if the lady had been actually sarcastic , then may be my friend would have chosen to think that “ she was complimenting and would have gladly replied “ thank you , I am so glad u liked it “ and would have felt better than how she was feeling right now , almost sulky and angry.
I am really curious we humans, get happy, sad, hurt, etc by someone else.
How can anyone make us really feel things? How do they make us feel happy or sad?
What do they say? How do they say, “come take this tin full of sadness “or they say “Aah today u need a bucket full of happiness, here take it I brought it especially for you!!!?
How I wish I could buy happiness and sadness over the supermarket shelves!!!! How I wish it was that simple.
The above incident and many more made me realize, that we often rely on others to make us feel in a particular way. It’s always because of people, they do something, they say something or they do not say something or they do not do something, triggers how we feel.
When people do things as per our expectations, how we want it to be... we are happy …
But, as soon as they don’t do what we were expecting them to do. We are suddenly hurt and their actions make us sad.
In short, we often try to control other people, in order to control how we feel!! ( I am no different!!!).
But, is it really possible, I wonder!!!!
The answer is “NO’. We cannot control people. Neither can we force them to do anything, nor assume that they will.
The person, we can control is " US ". We can control only ourselves.
How can people make us feel certain things, the thing we call emotions.
It’s we who decide to choose how to feel.
It’s we who decide to feel or react in a certain way.
It’s we who make assumptions.
And aren’t we only who leap to conclusions.
No one can ever give us tin of sadness or bucket of happiness. They are within us!!! They are intangible items.
We all have seen cars on the roads, if you see them , they are mere tin boxes moving on the road, but what we tend to forget is that it moves because there is someone inside controlling it.
We often run on an autopilot theory, and we most of the time forget that there is a “person “inside us who is in control.
Guess its time to take back the control of ourselves. Control how to feel, rather than relying on others.
It has to be your choice – choose to feel bad or choose to feel good!!
I prefer to feel good !!!!
What do you prefer ?